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I encounter a lot of people at who who call themselves computer illiterate or computer stupid (which I wish they did not). And I get it, technology changes really fast, and most people still believe that anything they buy will be old w/in 1 year. But there are some things that not knowing a lot about computers in NOT an excuse for.
Here is an example of one such situation.
Someone comes in who is having computer problems. After a few questions, the answer is found. The person has forgotten their password. The excuse “I’m computer illiterate.”
I don’t really think that works.
So, with the Olympics wrapping up, I’ve had the opportunity to talk with many people about the various “sports” that are featured. Now let me just say, I’m not trying to belittle the accomplishment of any athlete that reached the peak of their field, I just have some different qualifications of distinguishing sports from athletic activities.
So with that out of the way, I will now present you with a set of rules that I use to distinguish sports from athletic activities. As a side note, this is also a really fun game to play at a bar, if you want to rile people up, but you have to be ready to sell it with a straight face.
Rule 1. If you are wearing pants, you’re not playing a sport.
This was the rule that started it all. I was sitting in a sports bar one night, playing bar trivia, and was glancing at the baseball games on the TVs. I thought to myself “Self,wow those guys must be miserable in those pants. How can you enjoy any sport in pants…”
Rule 1a. If you’re wearing Spandex, you ARE playing a sport. Why, because everyone I’ve ever seen wearing Spandex (even if you are not someone who should be wearing Spandex), is having a blast.
As I started to think about Rule 1, as as people began to throw suggestions at me of what they thought was a sport that my rule would not fit, I realized that Spandex deserved a special exemption. I mean look at speed skating or bobsled.
Rule 1b. Just because an activity can be played without pants, it does not qualify as a sport. The standard uniform is what it judged.
Sorry baseball, congrats Softball.
Rule 2. If the winner of the activity is solely determined by a panel of judges, you’re not playing a sport.
This is what really gets me when it comes to things like diving or gymnastics. It’s other people’s opinion of how well you did that determines if you win. I just can’t get behind that as a sport.
Now there are some sports that are worth noting, because they can be confusing. Football and Hockey are sports. What they wear on their legs are pads. At WORST, they are capris, and capris are not pants. Boxing is also a sport. Boxing can come down to fighters winning based on points, but there points are earned by the punches they land and people tally those. There can make mistakes, but that is the human element in sports. You can also knock people out.
I feel at this point that I need to state again. I am not trying to take away the acknowledgement that the athletic activities that people choose to devote large portions of their lives to are trivial or not hard or that they take no athletic ability. They do! And divers, golfers, baseball players etc… are definately athletic.
I jsut don’t don’t think they play sports.
So several months ago I got Netflix and I LOVE it! It’s one of services I used to break my connection from cable (except for the internet) and lower my bills.
Recently, Highlander: The Series popped up in my recommended queue so I thought to myself “Self, you remember that show. It’s got sword fighting and that can’t be bad.” So I loaded it up. And to be fiair, I’m enjoying it. Yes there are times when it is super corney, but overall I like the distraction it provides me and the sword fights are pretty cool.
But, I do have some problems
Number 1: The Immortals are fighting to be the last one left. But immortals are infertile, so you can’t really plan on your kid being one. You also don’t know you are an immortal until you die for the first time. So say someone wins The Game…does that mean no more immortals will be born? What if some random dude just had not died yet? Does the Game start again? Because it’s clearly started and new ppl keep popping up.
Number 2: Immortals are able to sense each other when they get close. Which is pretty essential unless you plan are just running around and loping heads off random ppl. But in one episode, the Highlander is able to sneak up on two immortals who are trying to steel a book from a museum…
Number 3: Swords! They are awesome, but where do they keep them? I know a trench coat is a great television plot whole filler, but there are times where an immortal pulls a David Blane and just pull one from behind their backs. As my RPG playing friends will attest, I’m well willing to accept the concept of nature’s satchel (or the Marry Poppins Bag) but for a sword? Ouch.
And finally
Number 4 (well actually number 1 but it makes more sense to be last): The immortals are not IMMORTAL! Clearly they can be killed. In fact that’s kinda what the entire series is based around. A better description is that they are particularly resistant to death.
While I do believe this is a better description, it has been pointed out to me that this would cause problems such as with the theme song…
/Queen ~I am “particularly resistant to death,” I have inside me blood of kings~
…Does not quite have the same ring to it.
For those of you who do not know what Highlander is
I give you 30 seconds of Bunnies
So it’s took about 4 years, but a lot of people now know that they can buy stamps from where I work. But now, we’re are faced with a new quandary. A surprising number of customers do not seem to know how to send a letter.
I can understand that people do not know how much stamps cost, it seems to change randomly and seems way more than you would expect for the size. But to not know how to send a letter? I don’t even remember when I learned how to do that? Elementary School?
Anyway, the customer came in holding an envelope and asked it I sold any “envelope thingies.” I knew he was talking about a stamp because he pointed to the upper corner of the envelope, top left but I still got it.
So I said “A stamp? Yes we sell them.” /process transaction Here you go.
Then the student took the stamp and asked where he needed to put it and again pointed to the top left corner. So I said, your return address goes here and the stamp goes on the other side.
/sigh
I guess I have to blame the internet for this problem. E-mail, Facebook, Chatting it’s all about instant gratification. I guess it can take a while for a person to get an e-mail, but we know they have it.
I already knew letter writing was a lost art, just from hearing how people wrote during the civil war, but even the act of sending a letter? I guess that’s why most bills are self addressed and have the little outline for a stamp.